Fox Rumble
by The Swordslinger
Summary: Ranma's style is meant to prepare him for anything. What could've prepared him for a kitsune spirit named Naruto, forced by his village's chief, to arrive and cause more chaos than good? Reluctantly, he'll have to deal with the madness that awaits them both. Pilot!Naruto x harem: possibly with Akane, Nabiki, Ranko, and Kodachi; definitely with Shampoo and Ukyo.
1. Meet the Prankster Fox

I OWN NOTHING

Time and time again, I will try to improve to be a better writer and make something enjoyable for me to read. If you guys happen to like that, that's a big bonus.

 **WARNING** : I'll use the pilot version of Naruto and go nuts with the idea of a fox spirit forced to be a good guy in Nerima. Here, well, you'll see that escalate.

 **XXXXXX**

Ranma Saotome was a determined, skilled martial artist. Trying to prove time and time again while facing crazy rivals and ridiculous scenarios just cemented that. Sadly, his luck wasn't the best. Any time he meets a quirky new face, misery and misfortune are sure to follow. Remarkably, he doesn't let it get to him. He'd face it all head on and fail as many times as needed to overcome the challenge.

And yet, he found a very odd challenge in the form of a boy in a squatting pose over a fence at the school, "Ah, what a pain. School's just boring."

Looking up, he saw a blond boy in the typical high school uniform for the place he had to attend to. Right off the bat, he stood out like a sore thumb with a pair of green goggles on his forehead. Deep cerulean eyes, bright blond hair which was cut short at the sides and combed in messy but manageable spikes, as well as his natural tan made it hard to think he was Japanese. However, he did possess some features typical of the people, if subtle. What stood out the most was the fact his cheeks had three marks on each that resembled whiskers.

"Is he new?" Akane asked, her shorter hair still caused trouble for some people to get used to it, though Ranma did like it that way.

Jumping down, the blond squatted before them. He had the black school jacket, but had it opened to reveal an orange shirt which was untucked, baggy black pants, and white sneakers. And the face he had said it all for Ranma, who knew and could smell chaos from a mile away: the newcomer was a troublemaker and he had found his next targets.

"A cute girl and some..." he tilted his head, staring at Ranma before taking a whiff, confusing the two, "Are you a boy or a girl?"

Seeing his scratch his head in confusion angered the pigtailed boy, "I've already met Ryoga after so long, I don't need this..." he grumbled to himself.

Akane, though, had to ask, "Why do you ask?"

"Eh, no reason, he has an odd scent." The blond stood up, revealing that he was slightly lanky but packed some muscle, "So, Cutie-chan, wanna go on a date?"

Frowning, Akane put her foot down literally and figuratively, "No. I don't even know you, and if you want to fight me-"

"Huh? Fight you?" rubbing the back of his head, the blond looked up, mildly annoyed, "Tch, I knew people could be weird, but fighting to get a date? What a pain..."

"How about you tell us who you are?" Ranma asked, finally losing his patience.

Grinning, the blond let out a low chuckle, "Wouldn't you like to know? Just let me ask you, are you strong?"

Nodding, Ranma stood firm and crossed his arms, a smile on his face, "What's on your mind?"

Smirking, the odd boy jumped... two stories into the air!

"W-What!?" Akane gaped at what she saw, not even Ranma could do that.

Perched atop a tree, the blond shouted, "I'm bored as Hell! So, let's have some fun! I've been putting traps all around this school to have a blast for once! If I'm going to be trapped here, I'd rather have someone fun to mess with!" turning around, the blond slapped his ass at them, "Catch me if you can!"

"That little..." Ranma gave a step forward... only for the ground to collapse under him, causing him to crash in a large hole.

"H-He really put traps!" Akane exclaimed, walking around the hole... only to trip a wire. Turning to her left, she saw a ball of living, squirming worms fly at her.

The shriek she let out echoed through the entire block and alerted an elder in a white robe with a balding head, and a very simian appearance for his short frame, "He's causing trouble again..." As the old man made his way away from the school, Akane shuddered after shaking off the worms and Ranma was shooting steam out of his ears from how mad he was.

"I'm going to make that guy eat his uniform." The pigtailed boy grumbled.

"Saotome-san?" yelled someone from the ground, a football player's head with no body to be seen.

"Ah, it's a ghost!" Akane yelped, jumping back while her fiancée froze from the shock.

"No, that crazy fox guy buried me here!" the disembodied head shouted, trying to wiggle out of the dirt, "I just felt a hand grip my ankle from the floor, and before I could blink I'm here like this! You gotta get him! A guy that dangerous doing something like this for boredom is worse than the principal!"

"The principal?" Ranma echoed due to not having met the madman yet, "What do you-"

"Just get me out, please!" the student begged, "And do be careful! Everything in this school has been turned into a sick prank for his amusement!"

"Do you even know his name?" Ranma asked while digging out the player.

"He says his name's-" and that was as far as he got before a hand popped out of the ground behind his head, gripped him, and pulled him down.

"W-What the-" Ranma exclaimed when a dirt cloud erupted, blinding him.

And when it finally dispersed, the blond from before was grinning cheekily at him while on a casual squatting pose, "Ah, don't ruin the fun. I can't let morons who got caught too easy get off easier."

Akane glared, "You're sick!"

"And bored." The fox boy shrugged, "But an old fart sent me to this place to torture me, so I may as well have a blast." He smirked at them, "Let's see if you can keep up."

Rather than think things through, Akane and Ranma tried to strike him with how close he was. Both surprised the blond, who was amazed at their speed surpassing that of normal humans. However, they didn't get to impress him enough. Leaping into the air, he hung upside down from a branch, using his feet to hook himself to the tree. Chuckling to himself, the fox boy crossed his arms, pleased at what he saw.

"He's fast." Ranma said, slightly worried.

"You're faster than me, but I think I'm a bit stronger..." the blond said, "At least I can react quickly. Anyway, you really did get my attention. Boy, I thought I'd get another monologuing weakling like that guy in blue. He just rambled of how great he was and couldn't do crap to get close to me."

"You mean Kuno?" Ranma asked, before grinning confidently, "Beating him doesn't say much, he can be somewhat strong, but Akane can beat him with her eyes closed."

"Huh..." the intrigued boy said, examining the girl before grabbing the branch with one hand and hanging from it singlehanded like a monkey, "She's kinda cute. But should anyone really fight her for a date?"

"W-What!?" the angry short-haired girl exclaimed, bright red and ready to strangle him.

He grabbed a leaf with his free hand and put it on his forehead, "Yeah, a girl I'd fight to date would have to be really kickass and look a bit like this." In that same moment, a cloud of smoke covered him.

Before a question could be made, a more voluptuous version of Akane swung from the tree branch with a single hand before leaping down. Every inch of Ranma and Akane's faces were bright red at the tight orange bikini the sexier double wore, which struggle to keep back a pair of melon-sized breasts and showed every curve of her hips. She even had longer, shapelier legs with a modestly plump but perky behind.

Suddenly, Akane's brain stopped working when she aimed a finger at her sensual copy, "M-Me!? You! I!" she sputtered, trying to make some sense.

The fake giggled coquettishly, "Surprised or jealous?" she said, and then Ranma noted a fox tail swishing behind her, "Too bad I still stuck at transformations, though." Copy-Akane said with the boy's voice.

Desperate for answers, Ranma rushed at him, which made the doppelganger shapeshift back into the troublemaking blond. Easily, the odd new student parried Ranma's punch with a hand. However, he had to grit his teeth to keep him back. Like he had said, he was physically stronger, but had he not reacted when he did, the red-clad martial artist's speed would've allowed him to land a direct hit on his face.

"H-He stopped Saotome's punch..." a student that was tied in a cocoon made of ropes gasped from the branch he was tied to, facing the ground.

"Grr, I said I'm stronger, but I don't want to get punched by you..." the blond said before pushing Ranma back, who quickly gave chase and threw three lightning fast punches that the blond barely blocked. By crossing his arms, he took the impact and winced due to not only the speed but the precision that stung.

"Eat this!" Akane growled, having pulled out her infamous mallet to smash his head with.

Quickly, the blond clasped his hands, yelping, "Dammit!" he said right before getting hit on the face.

"How's that!?" Akane asked... only to see the body become a log with a cloud of smoke, "Are you kidding me!?" she angrily exclaimed.

"Sucks for you!" he exclaimed atop the fence, grinning at them, "I'm going to be stuck in this school, but that doesn't mean I can't have a blast making fools out of real fools! But you two seem like you may get me to break a sweat!" he had a rather childish if still evil smirk, the kind of a boy about to piss over some idiot who fell on a hole the troublemaker dug up.

"Why're you even doing this!?" Ranma asked, "If you want a fight, just set the rules! I'll make sure to beat you at your own games, no matter what you throw my way!"

Suddenly, the boy went silent, his grin disappearing for half a second before it returned wider than before, "Huh? Now I'm looking forward to this." He sat on the fence, smirking, "Listen, the reason I have is that I'm bored. However, I also really dislike people like that samurai wannabe." He frowned, "Told me I was no match for him because he had a bloodline or something. It really pissed me off. That's why I'm going to make this school remember not to mess with me."

"Well, he's the kind who'd say that, but you could have just ignored him." Ranma said, trying to be understanding, "That guy's full of hot air and isn't even a challenge."

"Like I would, someone had to teach him to not talk the talk unless he can walk the walk." The blond kept frowning, worrying the two before him.

And with that said, he was gone with a whirl of leaves where he once stood. Both engaged teens looked at the school and sighed, Akane speaking first, "We can never get in without trouble."

"S-Saotome-kun, Tendo-san!" a voice exclaimed, a teacher who was crawling out of a hole with his students' help. "Be careful, there's a crazy boy that has been targeting even the teachers for not helping him when Kuno-kun mocked him! He's on a rampage!" a cloud of smoke later, and the blond appeared right beside him, feeling the man with dread "Oh no..."

"I thought teachers had to be nice to all their students, not act like one's above the rules." The blond told him with that frown from before.

Shivering in fear, the teacher tried to speak, "Y-You can't do this to us! We're your teachers! What gives you the right to treat us this way!?"

Crouching to be on his level, the fox boy put a hand on the man's head, "Like I said, aren't you supposed to be kind to all your students?"

"Y-You won't get away with this, you'll be suspended- Nay, expelled and-"

"I asked if you're supposed to be kind to all your students or just that pretty boy." The odd new student gripped the man's head, hard.

"Ow-ow-ow! Y-Yes, I am!" he gave in, crying as he told the boy, "But Kuno-kun's father is the principal, anything he says goes! Even worse, we have no choice but to do as those two maniacs say! Do you think we want to bow to that pompadour-wearing braindead kid!? You don't even want to know the other member of that family!"

Soon the fox boy's frown turned into a smile, "Hmm, sounds like fun."

"Huh?" the teacher asked, only to be amazed when the kid pulled him up singlehandedly from the pit.

Shrugging, the blond started to walk away, "You can go, teach. If it's the principal that no one can mess with, I'll ruin his day and make sure everyone knows not to mess with me."

"He'd expel you!" the teacher exclaimed.

"Eh, what's that matter?" the fox boy's question made Akane stop her attempts to sneak behind him and smash his head open with her mallet.

"What the Hell do you mean?" Ranma asked, having been close enough to almost throw a kick.

"You think I want to be in this prison?" the blond asked angrily, "My village's senile chief forced me to be here. So, I told him I'd find a way to either get out or make sure no one messes with me."

"This guy really doesn't have a care in the world." Akane whispered, before he appeared behind her with a whirl of leaves.

"However..." he placed his hands on her shoulders, making her stiffen, "Man, girls here are kinda cute. A bit plain, but nothing too bad."

Growling, Akane shut her eyes in anger, "Well, forgive me for being..." she turned around, throwing a punch, "...plain!" Ranma didn't know whether to feel sorry for the blond or not when Akane's hit connected. He never managed to avoid those, but mainly because he knew he couldn't hit her with their situation. Part of him pitied the strange fox boy. And then, he just saw his body turn once again into a log.

"I need to learn that..." he whispered to himself while Akane's fist punched through the wood.

"Heh, she's kinda strong too." The fox boy's voice drew their attention to the school entrance, a smirk on his face as he lied on his side there, "I may stay if only to mess with girls like you."

"You little..." she was nearly spitting fire as she split the log with a karate chop.

Propping his head up with an arm, the blond grinned widely, "View's nice, if still plain..."

"Huh?" Akane asked, just as a gale of wind blew on her skirt, and at the angle the blond was in he could see her plain white panties, "You're dead!"

Charging at him with her mallet in hand, the youngest Tendo sister tried to cave his face in with her weapon of choice. Rolling back and then flipping out of her way, the blond kept his distance yet again. Stubbornly, Akane gave chase and swung her mallet in a wide horizontal arc. Unsurprisingly, the fox boy managed to surprise her yet again by catching her weapon with a hand.

His face was one of smugness, "I'll enjoy my time here, then." He whispered while she tried and failed to recover her weapon.

"How about you drop the theatrics?" Ranma asked, making the two turn to him, "Far as I've seen, you're confident, but are you overconfident?"

Confused, the blond told him, "Explain."

"If you want to be the man, you gotta beat the man." Ranma told him, "So, let's bet. If you beat me in a fair fight without using your tricks, you can play around all you want. If I win, you set everyone free, leave her alone, and have to act like a role model student."

"Cocky, aren't you?" the prankster said after letting go of the mallet before casually dodging Akane's next swing by tilting his head to the side, grabbing her mallet and yanking it off her hands, "Deal."

Akane grew worried, but Ranma was smiling, he was looking forward to the fight. It started with the blond charging right off the bat. Ranma was quicker and thanked that when he barely dodged a punch to his face. Seeing the pigtailed martial artist evade his attack only made the fox boy grin wider. To retaliate before Ranma could land a hit, the new student let his body fall forward, placed his other hand on the floor to stand on it, and brought up both feet before swinging them down. Ranma was quick to block it with both arms, and felt that the trickster's words were true: he was physically stronger.

Biting back a yelp from the strike he just parried, the red-clad boy threw a kick. The blond got hit right in the gut, getting him to growl as he lost his balance and rolled back. Getting up with a jump, the once confident goggles-wearing boy groaned. Taking a crouched stance with his left fist forward and the right covering his right cheek showed he got serious. Ranma took a stance of his own, calmly bringing a palm up while keeping the other at his waist's level. It was a simple defensive stance, but effective when facing opponents who took an aggressive initiative or were full of dirty tricks.

Charging yet again, the blond threw two hard punches that Ranma swatted aside. Swiftly, the blond jumped up and swung a leg at the martial artist's head, trying to slam his ankle against his face. Once again, speed was the pigtail wearing boy's forte. In a flash, he dashed back and avoided the strike, before dashing forward once again to strike the falling blond. Gritting his teeth at the incoming attack, the fox boy cursed himself for promising not to play dirty. But just as he was about to get hit, a wooden sword stopped cut Ranma's path and nearly smacked him on the wrist.

Jumping back, the black-haired boy glared at a pompadour-wearing swordsman, "Kuno, now's not the- What's wrong with your hair!?" he had to ask that when seeing the kendo club captain with melted red candy stuck to his scalp, giving him a crimson cowlick.

"Saotome, our battle for Akane-san's hand can wait. I shall regain my honor and kill this mongrel!" he aimed his sword at the trickster, who just grinned widely.

"Had fun?" the blond asked cockily.

"Insolent fool!" Kuno growled, "I told you, this school has no need for troublemakers who like you and Saotome can't wear the uniform as it's instructed."

"And I asked what happened if I don't care about silly rules." The blond growled.

"Like I said, your family must have been informed and told you so." Kuno growled back, "If they can't do such a task, I pity whatever mother raised anyone like you."

Clenching his fists, the blond got into his stance, "Oi girly hair, our fight can wait!" he told Ranma, "I'm going to teach this guy another lesson!"

Kuno brought up his sword, "Here there's only justice so long as I, the Blue-" that was as far as he got before the trickster punched him so hard he crashed against a wall. Ranma and Akane were amazed at the sheer brute force the blond had, while a faucet Kuno smashed into broke. As the water shot out, washing off the candy on his hair and spraying everywhere, Naruto turned to his other opponent.

"Don't talk about shit you don't know about..." he growled before turning to Ranma, bringing up his fists, "Alright, girly hair, now it's time to- Where's he?"

Looking all around, he found no hair or hide of the boy, because he had turned into Ranko, the red-haired beauty. Currently, she was hiding on a tree to keep her secret from being revealed. Akane for her part tried to think of an excuse to tell the blond while the petite and more voluptuous redhead started to make her way to try to find some hot water. But there was a catch...

"Alright, I'll need an excuse so he doesn't think I just ran off. If I can just..." she then stared confused at the blond, "Is he... sniffing?"

Doing so like a beast, the blue-eyed teen turned from left to right, "There's that odd scent, but it smells like girly-hair is... girlier?" scratching his head, he kept following the scent before looking up, "Huh?"

"Dammit!" Ranko yelped, stepping on a branch too weak to hold her before falling down when it broke.

Staring at her in astonishment, the blond could only say, "Wait, are you a kitsune too?" he asked, pointing at himself.

"Kitsune?" Akane and Ranko asked.

"Ugh, this is gonna be a pain in the ass..." he growled while the girls just felt more confused. He noted Kuno trying to stir himself into consciousness, so he turned to the two, "Let's leave. You can explain everything later." Then he grinned, "We can finish our fight once all's said and done. Fight me however you want, I can't wait to see what else you can do."

And with yet another cloud of smoke, he left the two girls to try to figure what had just happened. Once the students managed to get out of the traps, classes were suspended. An annoyed Nabiki accompanied them home, disappointed that she missed some payments but keeping tabs on that to make the debtors squirm if they thought they could run. She hadn't been safe either, the pink spots on her clothes and body said so.

"You two didn't even get a name?" she asked the engaged duo.

"I wish I had landed a hit on him." Akane grunted.

"Whoever he was, he sure got the last laugh." Ranko pointed out, "He'll surely be kicked out of school for that, just like he wanted. And even if he kept going, he'd have us to mess with."

"For such a sneaky guy, he sure is easygoing." Nabiki commented, before humming, "Perhaps with the proper clothing and a little charm, he could join me..."

"What're you whispering?" A worried Akane asked.

"Oi, you're thinking of using the guy for your easy money scams, aren't you?" Ranko accused the brunette.

Casually shrugging, the broker replied with, "Who? Little me? Please, you should know you need proof before any baseless finger-pointing."

"You know, I wish you meet him and have all your plans blow right on your face." Ranko growled at her, having already dealt with the brunette's schemes.

"Oh come on, can't you take it easy?" the middle Tendo sister asked coyly, "After all, he could be trying to steal Akane from you if all he said about finding her plain self as cute gives any pointers."

"I'm not plain!" the blue-haired girl exclaimed irritated.

Nabiki smiled teasingly at her sister, "You may enjoy it, some guys like girls who are cute in a simple way like you."

"I'd enjoy that second round, honestly." Ranko said with her arms crossed, looking at some bruises, "All that talk about being a kitsune may be real if he packs this kind of punch."

"Who knows? But he's made things interesting." Nabiki commented, "Just rest and figure things out when you can."

"Yeah, I guess I should try to think of a way to fight around him..." Ranko slowly stopped when noticing some noise, "Is that our old men?"

The three raced to their home to hear some yelling coming from the living room, where their parents were talking with a balding man in white robes.

"Y-You can't be serious!" shouted Ranma's father, his glasses sliding down to the bridge of his nose.

The balding man shook his head, "I'm afraid you forgot our pact." He stared sternly at them, "You stole a scroll from that thief to summon me, to deal with him. After all his indecent crimes, I couldn't stand still. But you made a deal with me. Both of you had to, for trying to use the teachings in that scroll is punishable for the undeserving with death."

Akane and Nabiki's father chuckled sheepishly, "B-But we've trained really hard, and Genma's son is an extraordinary example of manliness. Surely, if you let him try to earn those teachings..."

"No." the white-robed man said bluntly.

Genma chortled nervously, "P-Please, Sarutobi-san! You should really see what my boy is capable of! None are more deserving of such teachings than him, I assure-"

"The old fart said no, gramps." All three girls recognized the voice and walked in to see, "Huh? Girly hair, Plain Panties, and... Who're you?" the blond aimed a finger at them before lowering it when getting to Nabiki who, to her credit, kept her cool despite having her clothes and hair ruined by his prank.

"You know each other!?" the parents and daughters asked.

"Naruto, what did you do?" the elder asked with a glare that made the blond flinch.

"Stupid chief, I told you I wasn't going to be in that place if someone acted like a jackass..." the boy grumbled and lied on his side, prompting his head up with an arm, "After a samurai wannabe mentioned things he had no idea about, I had to teach him a lesson."

Sighing deeply, the elder turned to the two martial arts teachers, "And this is why I need you two to look over Naruto as proper punishment for attempting to use that scroll's powers." He glared at the boy, getting him to freeze under his gaze, "He is an exceptional child, full of potential. While he remains here, he'll no doubt get into trouble, but it'll be for a good reason."

"We understand, but still, how can we even control such a being...?" the mustached man asked uneasily.

"Tch, it's not like I'd kill you." Naruto huffed, irked a bit, "All I'm here to do is kick ass..." he casually started to pick his ear, before blowing the wax off his pinky finger.

"Hey old man, explain, please." Ranko told her father, who looked away.

"It's a long story... But, as you may have heard, we owe Sarutobi-san for helping us seal away a great evil..." Genma started.

His friend continued, "Actually, we succumbed to temptation and tried to learn martial arts only allowed to those judged by beings like him."

"Anyone he'd deem worthy would have to be beyond exceptional, which is part of the reason I trained you, Ranma, to do what I couldn't..." Genma continued.

"But..." Soun didn't like where he was headed, but he had no option, "It seems that to make up for our sin, begging for our lives was not enough."

"You thought you could beg this old monkey for your life?" Naruto, as he was identified, asked with a snicker, "Hah, I've been trying to beat the sack of bones for ages and still can't scratch him! And you two aren't the kind of people I'd have trouble beating!"

"You little..." Genma growled, but Naruto sat up, smiling cockily.

"I said what I'm sure of, if we fought, me showing you what I can do would make it too easy." The blond then let his head fall back to look at the three girls upside down, "Though if the girls here are this cute, I may think about it..."

"That's it." Akane said as she grabbed the table, ready to smash him with it only for her father and future father-in-law to stop her.

"No, don't! He's our guest, and if he doesn't fulfill his mission, we're dead!" Soun cried.

Sarutobi sighed, "Soun, Genma, I am entrusting Naruto to you not to spoil him, but to guide him too." He stood up, "As you can see, his thoughts about humans is something he won't hide. But he had a mission, one he can't and won't refuse. That is why, despite how he'll act, he has no choice but to remain here."

"What's that mission, then?" Ranko asked, intrigued.

"Kicking evil spirits out of this town." Naruto replied with a smirk, "Maybe I should start with you. That odd scent of yours is unnatural."

She smirked back, "If you want that second round, say so."

"Enough!" Sarutobi shouted, getting the room to freeze, "Naruto, you will live here. I suggest you learn to get along with them, for no other place will take you in with your attitude."

Sadly, the man had a point, and the blond showed his understanding with an, "Urgh..."

"I'll be leaving. Make sure he doesn't get in too much trouble." Sarutobi said, waving off.

"Wait!" everyone else shouted, but he had already left in a cloud of smoke.

"So..." Naruto started, leaning against a wall, "What's up for lunch?"

 **XXXXXX**

And that's my rap!

Needless to say, this is made to change things up in the Ranmaverse and focus more on fights than slapstick involving Akane or some equivalent punching Ranma. Real talk, I'm indifferent to Akane now. After seeing the anime's first episodes, I can see her potential. Of course, I dislike how she grew to abuse the tsundere trope.

But, like I said, I'm indifferent now to her. I actually find her cute. Granted, I think she'd be better put in her place by an alpha male. And I'm not ashamed to admit that, as the male I am, I have fantasized with having sexy girls hugging my legs as I sit on a throne. Not like I'd go to that extreme, but hey, Naruto's standing up to her.

Plot-wise, things will escalate and get more and more ridiculous when characters from the Narutoverse come as the spirits Naruto has to deal with. Pairing-wise, you know me. I'll pair Naruto with whoever I feel like putting him with from the Ranmaverse, perhaps pair Ranma with girls of the Narutoverse. We'll see.

I am inclined to pair Akane with Naruto - do NOT leave just yet, Akane-haters - so he can drive her mad. Yes, Naruto will be here to tease and prank her. Yes, Akane will be the target of his antics. Or maybe I could go a dark path like many of you smut-obsessed people want and make her loyal to his d- Nah, I'm not that messed up.

Or am I?

Swordslinger out!


	2. Red Hot Love

I OWN NOTHING

Frankly, keeping any kind of consistent tone is impossible without getting bored, but even wildly changing tones can be consistent in a narrative and work. At least in a videogame I know of.

 **XXXXXX**

"Like I told you, I'm not going to mess with you. Well, not too much."

Grinning at the Tendo family and their hopeful new bond to unify dojos, the fox boy pretended to be resting. He lied on his side, propping his head up with a hand while everyone was tense. After seeing what he did and knowing he could do more if bored, none took his words at heart. Perhaps it was the fact he had a cheeky smirk on his face and his eyes sparked with mischief. Maybe. Possibly. Most likely.

"Definitely." Nabiki smiled while plotting how to use him, "Let's try to get along. After all, that old man's the one making this happen."

"Just how did you meet that guy?" Ranko asked her and Akane's fathers.

"It's something we swore never to talk again." Genma answered with dread on his face.

"More like something the old fart's embarrassed about." The blond picked his ear casually, blowing the wax without a care afterwards, "Every time I asked and even tried to force the chief to tell me, he'd clam up. My guess is that it's too damn pathetic and embarrassing for him to tell the story."

"That too." The mustached man answered with a heavy sigh, "Anyway, Naruto-kun, please make yourself at home. I hope we can get along." He forced a smile, which the boy noted.

"Last I recall, you kept making excuses to not have me around." The whiskered fox sat up, grinning predatorily, "Fine by me. I also wanna get out. But so long as the old fart's calling the shots, all I can do for now is let out steam by kicking spirit ass."

"I've been bothered by that." Akane started, "What do you mean spirits?"

"Every tale of folklore you've read and heard about, but worse." Naruto explained like that, "Anyway, how's lunch?"

"Just be patient." Kasumi said with her usual serene smile, handing him a cup of tea.

"You don't have to be so nice to someone so rude." Akane frowned at her sister's actions to such a boy.

"Actually, it wouldn't hurt the world to more have nice girls like this." Naruto grinned as Kasumi left, watching her with a growing smirk, "Plenty of angry, manipulative, and downright evil girls out there. It's a nice change of pace to see kind sweeties around." Then he put an elbow on the table to prop up his chin and grin at the youngest Tendo, "Although, you wouldn't be able to know what it's about, right?"

Pulling her mallet out of hammer space, Akane swung but the kitsune flipped over it, placed a hand on the weapon, and used the momentum to land behind her with a taunting smile. Twirling it for another swing, she faced the fox who clasped his hands. Spinning her body and hips, the littlest sister tried to swat the smile off the fox's face, and the result surprised her when he separated his hands to reveal a black orb.

"That's a..." Genma choked out, wide-eyed.

With a simple mental command, the orb morphed into a short staff. Barely three-foot-long, but the kitsune knew how to use it. Parrying the strike with ease and without moving an inch proved so. Akane couldn't tell if she was mad or surprised at the fact he summoned a weapon out of nowhere or that he stopped her mallet. Normally, that always got Ranma and any guy who angered her, but Naruto was just amused.

"A fox rod!" Soun exclaimed.

"Heh, I can tell this'll be fun." Naruto smirked mockingly at the girl, who tried to kick him in order to push the kitsune away.

In response, he moved his staff and easily stopped the strike with it, "You won't get away easily!" she snapped and tried to attack him again.

Deftly, he spun the staff and side-stepped her strike, hooked one end around her legs and tripped her. Akane flipped in the air three times before landing butt-first on the floor, flabbergasted. Looking up at him, her glare hardened while he hefted the short staff on his shoulder. Running a hand through his short, spiky hair, he let out a low, amused laugh.

"Round two, Cutie-chan?" he had a devil's grin.

"How about I take you up on that?" Ranko asked, grinning as she rolled her shoulders, "I may not look like to fight in this form, but I'm still strong."

"You sure, Girly Hair?" he asked while his staff shrunk into his palm, disappearing from view.

"Ready when you are." The redhead said, getting into her own stance with her right palm near her glorious chest and her left fist extended forward.

Getting into his own stance, Naruto let his left arm hang apparently limp, his hands dangling as if dead near his thigh while he put his right fist near his chin. Once again, he was in a crouched stance with his eyes on the redhead. She gave him a serious stare while the kitsune smirked yet didn't move. Everyone started to back away, though Akane stood up, grabbing her mallet once again.

Soun started to panic, "Genma, shouldn't we stop this?"

Clenching his teeth, the spectacled bald man shook his head, "No, think of it this way, if they can defeat Sarutobi's charge, Ranma may be seen as worthy of those scrolls' teachings."

"But they'll ruin the ho-" Soun's sentence ended when Ranko dashed faster than the fox expected and lashed at him with a kick.

Dashing back, the kitsune tightened his jaw and kept his distance. Once again, Ranko attacked with a swifter kick from her other leg. Finally, her strike connected with her knee sinking into the blond boy's side. Such a hit could've been avoided if he used a log, but he didn't. Instead, he took the strike and stepped back while Akane gave chase, ready to smash his head like a watermelon with her hammer.

And then, he grinned, "Too easy." He walked back, jumped to the wall, and walked over it to flip over Akane and Ranko.

The two gasped when he was right in front of them and attacked. His left arm shot forward for a quick backhand aimed at Ranko's gut, knocking some wind out of her. Following with a hook with that same hand to her head stunned her. And then, when sensing Akane getting close, the blond focused on her and continued his combo. Throwing a straight punch with his right hand against her mallet, he made her stagger.

"No way, he's strong enough to take on both?" Nabiki gasped.

Ranko didn't let the strike slow her down, and charged, to which Naruto spun around to deliver a left roundhouse kick she barely sidestepped. But as soon as his foot touched the ground, he jumped, spun midair to add more momentum, and put his knee near his chest. Seeing the strike coming, Ranko crossed her arms and took the full impact of his right heel, which sent her flying out of the living room and near the pond.

Jumping out and landing on the edge of the pond, Naruto grinned, "Do you hold back? Because I won't." he chuckled, "Man, I haven't fought anyone decent in a while. And two cute girls are keeping me on my toes. Please tell me you can do more." Charging after him, Akane threw her mallet, which the blond kicked high into the air, "Is that it?"

His question angered the still running girl, who threw a punch he sidestepped, "Try this!" she exclaimed and threw her ankle at his neck, which he ducked under.

Using the chance before him, the kitsune stood up while hooking an arm under her surprisingly soft thigh. Bright redness covered her face, but before she could get mad or flustered at his forward touch, she yelped when realizing what his plan was. Grabbing her leg made it easy for him to lift the limb like a lever and topple Akane, letting her fall into the pond.

Crouching on the edge, he taunted her with a grin, "Not bad, but make sure you can hit me first."

"I'll show-" before Akane could end her sentence, she noted that when she brought back her arm to throw a punch she had elbowed Ranko.

And the redhead wasn't happy about it, "What the Hell!? Why do you always hit me whenever you should hit the guy threatening to kick my ass!?"

"Well, I'm sorry for trying to do a better job at it than you!" Akane shot back.

"Better job!? I've actually hit him more than once, unlike you!" Ranko snapped while the blond watched.

"Actually, I just let you-" Naruto started, but they continued arguing.

"Aren't you supposed to be faster as a girl?" Akane shot back.

"Don't start on that, because I am still stronger than you as a woman." Her fiancée shot back.

Clapping loudly, the kitsune got their attention, "Talking isn't a free action, idiots! It's a fight, not couples counseling!" he grinned and quickly jumped over their next strike, landing on the tiled roof with a cheeky and irritating grin. "Ahahahaha! This is great! I'm actually having a blast for once messing around! I've never met morons this strong and resilient!"

"I'll show you strong!" Ranko shouted as she leapt into a tree, bounced off it, and landed on the roof before running at him.

Keeping his seemingly laidback stance, Naruto waited for her strikes. As Akane said, they were much faster. Blocking them with his arms let him understand she was faster, but not stronger as a female. Returning to the matter of fighting her, he studied what points she was striking in his arms. In a split second, she had landed a strike on several nerves on his limbs, trying to numb them.

Thus, he let her break his guard with a solid kick, allowing himself to stagger back with a smirk she noted too late. Once she was about to punch him, the kitsune turned around to give her a view of his back, instantly followed by his foot shooting to her face. Reacting just as quickly, Ranko slammed her heel on his, both their feet at a standstill until she got sent flying high into the air.

Chortling darkly, he turned to face her, "Now this is getting fun!" he called back his staff, holding it to his side like a sword as he leapt at her.

Ranko readied a leg when he got a few feet over her, his rod positioned over her head for a dangerous blow. Limb and weapon collided, getting the two to grunt. She regretted not having stopped it a different way. But the angered redhead wanted to send his rod to the heavens. It ended with both pushed back by the force, landing and skidding to a halt on the rooftop with the fox smirking and her mirroring the expression.

"Not bad..." he started as he threw the staff into the air, letting it twirl before he caught it with both hands and got into a defensive stance with it, holding it vertically.

"You're making me look forward to wiping someone's smirk off their face more than the average pain in my ass." She retorted, cracking her knuckles.

"Well, it's a very lovely ass in that form." He casually told her, angering the redhead, "Too bad it's not the real you I'm talking to. Shame, really. You're more my type than plain Cutie-chan."

"Damn you!" Akane shouted behind him, giving herself away after sneaking up on the fox.

"You're too easy, Cutie-chan." He said and acted.

Reaching back, he grabbed her mallet before it made contact with his head and yanked it out of her hands, leaving her in a predicament as he faced her. Using his knee to break the bane of Ranma's existence, making Ranko pause due to an odd sense of relief and gratitude, he turned to the youngest sister. Observing and taking in her shocked features, he couldn't help but grin darkly.

"Heh...?" he both laughed and questioned, "You're actually quite cute when scared."

Blushing in either anger or embarrassment, or maybe both, she tried to punch the blond only for him to flip down back to the yard and then back into the living room. Both girls gave chase, finding him seated on the table just as Kasumi arrived with lunch. The fox grinned casually as the eldest of the sisters put a plate down for him and refilled his cup with more green tea.

"Oh my, it seems everyone's getting along fine." The unaware young woman commented with a delighted grin.

"Eh, we try." The kitsune casually told her with a shrug, "Anyway, what's up for today's meal?"

"I've been in the mood for something simple, so it's karaage." She said, presenting bits of chicken covered in a special dough which had been put enough spices to avoid the oil that fried it from taking its flavor. Its aroma was mouth-watering, and when the blond took a bite before the others, he was delighted.

"Man, that's good stuff!" he cheered as he grabbed more, making the others jump.

"Hey, leave some for us!" Ranko shouted, forgetting the fight as did Akane.

"Don't wolf it down by yourself!" Akane told her fiancée.

All in all, things were starting to get crazy in the Tendo household.

XXXXXX

Of course, not all things were happy thoughts.

"I hate him..." Akane growled from her window in the night, observing the dark skies.

"And what else is new when it's about you not liking boys?" Nabiki asked, both in their pajamas and seated on her bed.

"He enjoyed freaking me out!" the youngest exclaimed, "What sicko does that!?"

"Perhaps it's his way to say he likes you." She teased her little sister and explained upon earning a glare, "I mean, when boys liked girls back in my elementary school they tended to try to get her attention. Even if it meant doing bad things. It's all part of that bad boy trend that is still very popular nowadays."

"He still needs to get punched in the face!" Akane yelled, furious, "Ugh, why does he have to live here!? Ranma and his dad, I can get because of that stupid contract, but him!? He doesn't even want to be here. If I could see that he's really doing something good, maybe I'd think about it, but he doesn't! He says he's here to fight evil spirits, but he hasn't!"

Nabiki shrugged, "Well, maybe they're not easy to find."

"Hmph, it'd be easy if he was also hard to find." The tsundere huffed.

"Speaking of, where will he be sleeping?" the brunette asked.

"If you don't know, what makes you think I care?" the still angry Tendo replied.

"It is worrying, considering his love for pranks." Nabiki's words put both in high alert.

Going to the door, the two opened it slowly, expecting anything to fall on the floor like a bucket of water. Luckily, only the air greeted them. With a sigh of relief, they bid each other a good night and went to sleep. As for the kitsune, he was busy with other matters that bothered him. Mainly the currently male pigtailed martial artist soundly sleeping before him. Genma was out like a light as was Ranma.

Thus, the fox spirit had no trouble sneaking in with a glass of water with ice and grabbing Ranma's hand, "Ok, let's see why you're so weird." He put the other boy's hand in the glass.

Ranko snored quietly before him. Focusing on the matter at hand, he slammed his palms, summoning forth his staff before pulling out a brush with ink fresh on its tip. He quickly tied both, making a longer brush. Pressing the tip on the ground, the kitsune made a circle around the redhead, leaving several symbols around the girl. Once he was done, he dispelled his staff after removing the brush and pocketing it.

"Hmm...?" Ranko mumbled in her sleep while Naruto observed her.

Clasping his hands as if in a prayer, he started to chant, "Good thing the old fart taught me about Chinese curses and spells. _Yu Mo Gwai Gui Fai Di Zao_..." Light erupted from the circular seal, giving it life and illuminating the room.

Genma solved the problem by turning around, sleepily mumbling, "Five more minutes..."

A draft started to make the fox's jacket flutter in the air while he kept chanting, repeating the Chinese spell over and over. Soon, Ranko's body started to glow with azure light as Naruto's was covered with a golden aura. From the redhead's parted lips appeared something. Faint blue sparks akin to those of embers when being smashed accompanied a light, white flame the size of an eyeball.

"There you are!" Naruto grinned widely and summoned his staff, which he used to strike the flame, "Show yourself!"

A bright flash illuminated the entire house, followed by an explosion that sent the boy rocketing through the sliding doors to the Saotome men's room. His back smashed into a wall, from which he slid down slowly. A grunt escaped him while he glared at the cause. In the mess that was the room, Genma had been slammed face-first into a wall while a familiar redhead stood before an unconscious Ranma.

"Hmph, to separate me from him shows you're quite dangerous." She growled, "No matter, at least with this strength, I can still-"

Eight staves flew at the redhead, nailing her on her thick thighs, small feet, curvaceous shoulders, and slim hands. Grunting, she glared at the fox who had his right hand extended and the left in front of his face, its palm held vertically in a praying position. Chanting continued and the redhead grunted, yelling as the blond kept his spell. And it was then that Genma unglued himself from the wall and noticed everything.

"What's going on!?" the man asked, fumbling when putting on his glasses.

"I knew she smelled oddly female!" the fox said as his only explanation and kept going as quickly as possible, " _YuMoGwaiGuiFaiDiZao_! _YuMoGwaiGuiFaiDiZao_! _YuMoGwaiGuiFaiDiZao_...!"

Growling, the redhead snapped at him like an alligator, "Bastard! I am finally free and you dare to lock me up!?"

"Like a fox like me would fall for that trick!" the blond replied as he pulled out a three-pronged kunai and bit on it, still chanting through the steel in his mouth while clasping both hands, " _Yu Mo Gwai Gui Fai Di Zao_!" the girl screamed as her body glowed with green light, which Naruto took as his cue to race at her and pull out the kunai, "It's over!"

"Wait!" Genma, in a rare act of fatherly instinct, tackled the blond and stopped him from harming the redhead, "That's my son you're trying to kill!"

"No, that's the spirit whose curse affects him!" Naruto shouted as he grabbed the man by the lapels of his gi, fell back with a foot on the man's gut, and flipped him over him like in a judo match. When he turned to the girl whose teeth were bared furiously, he ran at her once again, "So long _!_ "

Suddenly, the redhead smirked and her hand shot forward fast enough to grab and stop him from stabbing her chest, "I ought to thank that old man." She said to the shocked blond.

Finally, the blond noted that a smear had wiped some of the ink he put on the floor, "Ah, that old fart broke my seal!" it was then his turn to be even more shocked when the redhead judo-tossed him over her head and out a window. And as soon as he was gone, she quickly removed the staves nailed to her body, watching as no wound or mark remained.

"Magical fox rods used for sealing...?" she questioned and threw them to the floor with a sneer, "Tch, who'd have thought a kitsune would use their powers like that. Just how long was I cursed to be part of that..." an involuntary yelp later, and she ducked under three more fox rods.

Jumping back in, Naruto held three fox rods between each hand's fingers, "So, you have Girly Hair's skills, but you're still an annoying vixen."

Grinning darkly, she crossed her arms under her impressive bust, "And thanks to you, I can finally be free. Of course, I'll have to be smart, we know I haven't fought in quite a while."

"You're not getting aw-" Naruto started before more people broke in.

"What happened!?" the Tendo family exclaimed, finding Ranko standing over Ranma, Genma on the floor, and Naruto ready to fight.

"So long." The redhead waved casually as she leapt out, giggling darkly.

"Wait, damn you!" the blond shouted as he tried to give chase, but her speed allowed her to dash out of view in the middle of the night.

Before he could at least try, he was pulled by his jacket by Akane, "You wait, and explain, too!" she demanded, holding him by the lapels so he looked at her in the eye.

"Evil spirits tend to put curses on people, I tried to exorcise Girly Hair's, but thanks to you lot she's escaped." He said flatly and grabbed her wrists to force the tsundere to free him.

"What!?" Soun and Genma asked, "You mean you can remove my curse!?" the father asked with some hope.

"Evil spirits." Naruto repeated, "Which means, you're not a candidate."

"Explain in more detail, please." Kasumi asked him, "And, I beg you, tell me why is Saotome-san like... that..."

Everyone turned to the unconscious boy, who remained sound asleep. Eventually, their eyes swiftly fell on the blond.

Ruffling his hair in exasperation, he answered, "Look, it's complicated magic stuff. Basically, Girly Hair cannot be in two places at once. That minx from before is still him due to that curse. If I don't break their link or seal her back, Girly Hair may not wake up."

"Oh my!" Kasumi exclaimed while the others narrowed their eyes.

"And you did that without telling anyone!?" Akane snapped.

"So?" the fox's answer and casual shrug angered her, "Getting sealed is not something evil spirits like that babe want. And the spell required Girly Hair to be her. Of course, she'd fight back."

"And why didn't you tell us?" Akane argued.

"I expected it to be over quickly with my seal." He replied, "But if she could blast me back like that when I brought her out, she's going to be a fun pain in the ass." A predatory grin graced his face as he looked at the spot where the redhead escaped, "I'll be off to hunt her down."

"You're not going anywhere!" Genma shouted.

"Do you want Girly Hair to sleep forever?" Naruto retorted, getting the others to look down worriedly, "No? Then let me do my job."

"Your job got him in this situation." Akane didn't want to let go.

"And it's you guys' stopping me what let that sexy bitch get away."

"Then I'm coming with you so you don't mess up again." Akane growled, the blond glaring right back at her.

Sighing deeply, he put his forehead inches from hers, "You really wanna get me riled up, huh? Fine, you can come and see if you can do better." Then he grinned, "I could use a distraction, if she's hungry you could be her snack while I deal with her."

"Jerk!" she tried to hit him, but he once again stopped her strike with a hand.

"Anyway, what are we supposed to do?" Nabiki asked, arms crossed, "We can't leave Ranma like that."

"So far, I could use some salt." The blond started, "Other than that, I have to track her."

"Is there anything else you could need?" Kasumi asked.

"Hmm... duck feet, lizard tail, and a bottle of eel saliva." He said matter-of-factly.

"Ew." Akane and Nabiki grunted, grossed out.

Naruto frowned at them, "Do you want to save Girly Hair? Yes? Then bring me what I need."

"We'll do what we can." Soun said as he and Genma left.

"I have leftover salt." Kasumi started.

"I'll check my contacts to see if anyone can spot that girl." Nabiki replied.

"And I'm not leaving you out of my sights." Akane finished, glaring as the blond glared right back.

XXXXXX

"Not bad." Observing her reflection on a pond at a park, the redhead smirked at her features, "Too bad it's been a while since I've been out. I'm so rusty, and hungry."

"Ah!" turning to her left, she saw a familiar if annoying face, "The red-haired girl!" exclaimed Kuno, running at her.

Calmly, she observed as he got on his knees, "Oh my, it's been a while." She smirked as he handed her a bouquet of roses.

"I've heard you were out and about and made it my duty to find you and bring you to safety." He said with his most charming grin. "Please, accept these flowers which your beauty puts to sh-"

"Typical virginal kind." She told him, freezing him from the coldness of her words.

"Excuse me...?" the swordsman asked in shock.

Putting a hand on his head, she grinned wider, "Oh well, that energy of yours will do, for now."

Gasping, the young swordsman put his hands on her wrist, trying to stop her, "W-What're you-" a deafening scream echoed in the neighborhood.

And not far off, Naruto was running with Akane trying to keep up.

"Did you hear that?" she asked, shivering.

Growling, he got on all fours, his nose inches from the floor, "It's her, she just came by."

Running to the direction of the scream, the two found a seemingly empty park. There were swings, horizontal bars, and plenty of space for kids to play. Bushes rustled thanks to the wind, making Akane shiver as an idea of some spook jumping out crawled in her head. Despite that fear, she remained close to the kitsune, determined to see things through, and mostly to feel somewhat safe.

"Do I have to throw the salt at her or what?" Akane asked while holding a jar Kasumi handed her.

"Make a circle with it around you." He instructed her and she did as told, "Do not step out."

Furrowing her brow angrily, she spoke up, "Wait, I want to he-" and her sentence died when a hand gripped her shoulder. Slowly, mechanically so, she turned. Her neck felt every tense muscle force head to see a sight that left her jaw limp. Every detail was burned into her mind. At first, when it got into her peripherical view, she jumped a bit. But as more and more reached her eyes, everything went numb.

Opened jaws filled with only three loose teeth. Dark gray skin as wrinkled as a corpse's. Dry lumps of white hair clung to a skull. Everything she saw should've pertained to a corpse, but the eyes remained alive. And there was no mistaking the samurai garb. Perhaps her mind was playing her tricks, but part of her was ready to scream. However, her body reacted the only way it knew how.

"Akane-san, p-" when the mummified Kuno tried to beg for help, the girl's right hand sailed straight into his jaw almost immediately.

"K-Kyah!" and her punch was accompanied by the girliest yelp ever heard.

Naruto turned to see, rather baffled, a cadaver twitching on the floor, "What just happened?"

"It's Kuno, it has to be!" she exclaimed, terrified, tiny tears pooling on the corners of her eyes, "No other guy would make me hit him so naturally besides Ranma!"

"Well, she was here." Naruto started as he crouched near Kuno, "Don't worry, though, he's not dead. Nor will she kill him."

"What did she even do to him?" Akane asked, shivering while the fox waved a hand over the living mummy's face.

"What her kind does, take someone's chi and life energy and leaving them an empty carcass." He sighed and stood up, "Just as I thought, she has to be a-"

"A girl having fun."

Both the fox and schoolgirl froze and turned to see Ranko sitting on a tree branch, "When did she get-" Akane tried to ask, but Naruto acted.

Rather quickly too, "You're not getting away!" he shouted after throwing four rods at the redhead.

"Your fox rods won't help you!" the redhead smirked and jumped up, kicking them out of the air with a single lightning fast kick, "Not when I have this body!"

"So you have Girly Hair's tricks along your own, big deal." Naruto glared and clasped his hands, both index fingers aimed skywards.

Grinning with a rather sadistic, downright bloodthirsty smirk, the redhead stepped forward, "That stupid chi spell won't work twice."

"Who says I repeat my tricks?" he retorted as his body started to glow, "I can't let one of you run around causing chaos."

"What is she!?" Akane yelled, exasperated and desperate for an answer.

"Haven't you figured it out?" the redhead replied and smirked widely, "I'm a spirit just like him, or was before I was forced to drown in that stupid pond for what I am. Truthfully, I'd like a little revenge, but the old fools who tried to kill me died with no children." Then she turned to Naruto, "But you? Fighting like some of those self-righteous coots against your kin?"

"First of all, I'm a kitsune." Naruto corrected her while his whisker marks grew thicker. Then he flashed her a feral grin with sharper, longer canines as his pupils became slits, "Seconds, there's just so much fun when I get to beat people like you! Hunting spirits is way better than dealing with human weaklings!"

Beaming back, she raced at the blond, "Cocky, aren't y-" Clouds of smoke covered the boy, forcing the redhead to halt her moves. Doing so left her open for an attack, a wild swipe from a beast. Akane gasped, she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Both girls had their jaws reaching for the floor when the smoke cleared, just as the redhead leapt back.

"Confident, I'd say. Not cocky." Replied a gruff voice.

In Naruto's place stood a towering seven-foot-tall humanoid. It wore his same clothes but was missing the footwear. Its arms were long, very long, almost touching the ground. And its entire body was covered with a dark orange fur. Its head was that of a fox, with black ears, the same green goggles on the forehead, and a muzzle full of sharp teeth. The hands were replaced with sharp claws covered in black fur, while the feet were fox paws with the same dark coat. Just to make the scenery more ridiculous, nine flowing fox tails tipped black sprouted from its tailbone.

Without warning, he slammed his right claw on the floor, taking an odd stance akin to a beast ready to lunge at prey while his left was held at his side. And it made the redhead's blood boil in excitement, "Good! I didn't want my debut fight to be an easy one!" she beamed and charged at the kitsune again.

Akane yelped when Naruto moved in a blur of speed, the gales of wind he kicked up making her skirt flutter, "W-watch it!" she shrieked as the two fighters collided.

Kicking up, the female spirit's leg clashed against the fox's arm, stopping him from striking her with his claws. Grinning at her, the kitsune spun in the blink of an eye and brought up his knee to which she responded by placing both hands on it before it nailed her on the ribs. Using the momentum of his attack, the redhead managed to over him, land behind the fox, and throw a kick... at a log.

"What the-" she gasped when four tails went at her limbs, wrapping on an ankle and wrist each.

"Now throw the salt!" the fox exclaimed before clasping its clawed hands yet again.

"Right!" Akane opened the jar and threw its entire contents on the red-haired spirit, causing her to yell in anger.

"You bastard think a simple trick like that can work on me!?" she narrowed her eyes at the fox restraining her.

"Only one way to find out." He retorted.

His remaining five tails flew around him and the other spirit, scribbling into the dirt the seal he had used first, "Do you really think you can get rid of me that easy!?"

Ignoring her furious scream, Naruto started to chant again, " _Yu Mo Gwai Gui Fai Di Zao_... _Yu Mo Gwai Gui Fai Di Zao_ -OW!"

Rather infantile but obviously desperate, the redhead was quick to bite one of the tails with all her might, making it loosen enough for her to elbow the fox on the face. Backpedaling from the shock and force, both returned to where they were, with a ruined seal and the female spirit still on the loose. However, Naruto was absolutely livid as he held and blew on his tail while the red-haired spirit spat out some fur.

"Pah, can't believe I just did that!" she exclaimed and kept spitting.

"I can't believe how badly I want to rip you apart!" he yelled in anger.

Realizing things were about to get messy, the redhead thought quickly for a way out, and she found it, "Get back to normal, Ranma!"

Akane's battle cry was accompanied by a charge where she attempted to punch the other girl. However, she was quickly pressed against a tree, the petite girl's face inches from hers and their bodies pressed very close. A blush crept on her cheeks as she felt two very soft mounds of flesh push into her smaller but no less malleable orbs. Meanwhile, the pigtailed girl had quite the cheeky grin on her face.

"Don't you know? I am Ranma now." She told the frightened girl. "And you'll be delicious."

"I'm n-not into-" Akane tried to argue before feeling weightless.

Upon blinking in confusion, her mind registered many new facts. Naruto was cradling her in his arms, a couple tails keeping her closer to him. On his right shoulder was a gash with some blood dripping down into a once clean sleeve. Last but not least, Ranko had a very catty grin, sharper and longer fingernails, and kitsune blood coating them. And she licked it with gusto.

"Not bad, I can taste a lot of power in this..." she smirked wider than before, "Enough to make me feel like myself. Oh, how I missed this!"

Bizarre didn't begin to describe what was happening. Suddenly, Ranko's head grew two thick horns, one on each side of her head and pointing up with a curvature akin to a laurel's crown. Quivers ran up and down her spine as a leathery tail popped from over her curvaceous, peach-shaped behind with a spade-shaped tip. And for the finishing touches, her pupils had become sharp slits and two large black leathery bat wings shot out of her lower back. They ripped her shirt, leaving only a top that was mostly a handkerchief barely covering those glorious mammary glands.

Grunting, Naruto turned to her and pulled out a fox rod to use as a staff, "I see you're not the usual succubus. You'd rather fight than use your charms."

"Guilty as charged, which makes it so good I got to body-jack that boy." She giggled darkly, "Oh well, since you're getting serious, so should I."

"Wait a second, she's a demon!?" Akane exclaimed.

"A spirit twisted by mankind's darkest desires and uses those same negative emotions to eat." Ranko corrected her with a sassy smirk.

Flapping her wings once, the succubus flew at the fox, who readied himself by putting Akane behind him. Ranko's claws flew fast enough thanks to his new wound, passing by his injured side and slashing his ribs. A pained grunt escaped him while he ignored the pain and swiped with his good arm. Once again, Ranko used his strength to impulse herself by placing a foot on his palm to shoot herself higher in the air.

Wickedly, she beamed at him while he grew madder, "Dammit, I got sloppy..." he applied pressure on his new injuries with a hand.

Akane brought him back to reality, "She's coming!"

Indeed, the succubus dived at him, her claws ready while she readied her wings for whatever direction he could run into, "Your seals won't work, so give up!"

"Give up?" he questioned, chuckling once through his nose, "Lady, you don't know me at all." Then he glared, "I ain't giving up until I make everyone realize how great I am!"

Just as she reached him, Ranko spun in the air to bring her right heel over her head, bringing it down for a brutal axe kick, "All talk and no bite!" she cackled while he stopped the strike with his good arm, making her grin, "You've left yourself open!" she exclaimed in excitement as she twisted her hips to bring her other leg to his ribs, hoping to break them...

And instead, she was punched hard by his injured side's arm with a solid sucker-punch to the gut! Time slowed down for her, letting her take in the features of the beast whose eyes sparkled with a tyrannical power. It was the same eyes a demon of legend reached many places, a pair of demonic orbs that put many on their knees. Once her back hit a tree hard enough to snap it in two, she realized what she saw.

Upon seeing her plump buttocks hit the floor, Naruto approached her, "You asked me why I fight spirits." He said as his body started to shrink, the fur receding as he returned to normal, complete with footwear, "I would've kicked every human's teeth in if I had the chance, believe me. However, where's the fun in that?" he smirked wildly, "Making them recognize I'm better than all of them is all I need. You see, I don't fight to make them accept me, oh no... I fight so they have no choice but admit I'm number one."

Smiling back weakly, she leaned against the stump and replied, "You're... completely... annoying..."

"And I beat you, so we better deal with you." He said and pulled out some fox rods.

Unable to move, she turned her face away from him, though she didn't lose her smile, "Do your worst. It's a shame this was the best fight I had..."

"Same." Naruto said as he stabbed her hands and feet on the ground, making her yelp.

Akane sighed, "It's over, finally." She then glared at the succubus, "I hope you're ready, because I'm sure none is going to forgive you for all the awful things you've done." She turned to the blond, "Make sure she is locked for good."

"Actually..." Naruto grinned widely, "I've changed my mind, I'm gonna keep her."

"What!?" the two girls asked in shock.

Grinning darkly, he gave a simple explanation, "I got bored doing the seal anyway, and this looks like it'll be a hoot."

Smiling wider, the redhead closed her eyes, "Do what you want, bastard... Make sure it doesn't bite you in the ass, because I'll make you regret this."

"I'll hold my breath in anticipation." He replied with an evil chuckle.

Akane could only stare in disbelief.

Just then she finally realized that her life would be madness thanks to the new resident at her house.

 **XXXXXX**

And that's my rap!

After seeing many fics where Ranko's a succubus, I couldn't help myself when doing this. Also, I think it fits. Naruto will make trouble if he's bored and willingly get in bigger trouble if he's too bored. For him trying to deal with Ranma's curse was a way to kill time rather than to help him. And keeping Ranko around is an excuse to see how things can get crazier to amuse himself?

Why? Because it's his way of standing up against the way people treated him by ignoring their complaints and ruining their day while letting them know he can do whatever he sets himself to do. Protecting Akane, for instance, shows he's capable of dealing with tough enemies without bystanders getting hurt. Or maybe he has a soft spot for plain, cute girls that would be fun to break.

Regardless, I had fun writing this mindless piece. I hope you enjoyed it too.

And before you ask, the fox rods are based off the balls and short staves he used in his super form at the end of the manga. Somehow my mind linked them to Okami's Fox Rods and, well, making them tools to seal evil spirits and weapons just came naturally.

Swordslinger out!


	3. Pigsty of Chaos

I OWN NOTHING

I want to keep drastically and wildly changing tones here. It is fun. Who knows? I may keep my word of Akane wrapping herself around Naruto's leg... Or I could leave that for kinky roleplay.

 **XXXXXX**

There was a palpably tense atmosphere at the Tendo household.

"You'll pay for this!" yelled the succubus tied to Naruto's back, which he put on the table in the living room near an unconscious Ranma.

"Here." Soun said as he handed the boy the ingredients he and Genma were tasked to look for, "Now, please help Ranma. I feel too confused by this and need some rest."

"And I feel scammed!" Genma shouted, "Seriously, if you can break my son's curse, why can't I be freed!?"

"Because I deal with evil spirits, and what possesses you is some poor animal's sorrow made into a curse." The kitsune groaned as he took out his brush and fox rod, "Unlike this one here, that animal had no ill will. Meaning my chi spells for exorcisms can't work. And I can't break the link of something like that unless I can cleanse the place the poor animal died at." He explained while making a new seal on the floor.

"Then why don't you go!?" the bald man exclaimed just as the blond finished.

"Will you pay for the trip or tell Sarutobi you sent me there to help you and only you?" the blond retorted as he finished making the chi circle on the living room.

"I...see your point." Genma conceded when the kitsune put away his tools.

As Naruto sat down and started to mix the bizarre ingredients in a bowl, he added other reasons, "I thought so. Although, frankly, I just don't like you." He said casually as if talking of a drink, "Now shut up. Either I do this right or Girly Hair and this babe will get more messed up than before."

"Just jesting, right!?" said succubus exclaimed with fear in her eyes. "Please, do not mess this up! I hate being male! I like my body soft and nimble!"

"Be nice and I will just force you to obey me." his words made a certain Tendo angry.

"Wait, you planned for this!" Akane shouted.

"Do you know how chi spells work?" he retorted fairly irritated, "If you do, tell me how I planned this."

Grunting, she snapped, "You planned to have her sealed in some way to make her your servant! A slave!"

"It's that or letting her suck everyone's life force like she would have done with yours." His words only angered her more.

"You didn't deny it." She told him firmly.

"I should have let you drain her life energy." The fox commented as he poured the ingredients in the bowl, which he proceeded to mash.

"Like you saved her out of the goodness of your heart." The redhead replied, "I know you kitsunes are supposed to be the best of lovers. And your kind has one with a horrible reputation as a philanderer. I bet your one reason to be her knight in shining armor was how adorably plain she is."

"I'm not plain!" Akane growled, eyes closed, "I'm still growing..." despite her anger, she sounded dejected.

Nabiki grew interested, "So, who was the fox you talked about?"

Naruto growled and pulled out his brush again, which he rubbed in the mix, "He was my father."

Ranko froze, eyes wide as if ready to jump out of their sockets, "You mean that monster-Mph!" she was shut up when he shoved the brush in her mouth, which she spat out, "Pah!"

"Good, succubus saliva." He said and turned to the unconscious Ranma, scribbling on his forehead.

"This is getting odd." Soun said, "And it's making me quite nauseous..."

Grinning darkly, Naruto turned to them, "If you think that's disgusting, I heard tales of a man who poisoned another with an evil chi enchanter's help. Long story short, the one who cursed him was beaten by good chi sorcerers, but the antidote was in the evil one's employer's body. They had to chop off his manhood so the poisoned man could suck it and get the antidote."

Soun went to the bathroom immediately while Genma looked green. Akane was turning pale as she balled her hands on her head to block the images. Nabiki and Ranko looked unaffected, though the latter was due to the fact she was being scribbled on by a brush containing sickening ingredients and her saliva. Kasumi was currently resting due to that day's hard work.

"What does that mean regarding Kuno?" the middle sister asked, "I heard news he found her, but haven't heard of him since."

"Don't worry, I'll have something for him." Once he was done writing seals on both, he clasped his hands, "Now, stand back." Pulling out his kunai, he bit on it as his body and the two before him started to glow. And he spoke up clearly despite the metal in his mouth, " _YuMoGwaiGuiFaiDiZao_! _YuMoGwaiGuiFaiDiZao_! _Yu Mo Gwai Gui Fai Di Zao...!_ "

With the final chant, he took the three-pronged weapon from his mouth, held it over his head, and swung it down on Ranma's forehead. Genma screamed in shock along Akane.

However, their screams died when the boy's eyes shot open as soon as the blade stopped by a glowing magical seal floating over his head, which the weapon broke, "What the!?" he asked, fully awake and jumped off as the kitsune pocketed his odd weapon.

"Good, the link's broken." Naruto said while Ranma wanted explanations.

"What're you- Is that me!?" he exclaimed upon seeing the red-haired succubus on the table.

"More like you were me without my consent." She growled while still struggling.

"As if you weren't the one cursing him." Naruto retorted, putting his foot next to her head, "So, Girly Hair, what do you want me to do with her?"

"Why are you asking me!?" Ranma snapped. Trying to take things in, he placed a hand on his forehead, "I was asleep, and now she's...free?" he motioned to the redhead, "What is even going on? Wait, why ask? You had something to do with this, didn't you?" he pointed at the smug fox.

"What if I did?" he shrugged, "I was doing my job of dealing with troublesome spirits. You were possessed by this one's curse, and I broke it."

"Wait, repeat that." Ranma looked blankly at him, poking Naruto's forehead.

Growling, he grabbed the offending hand and held it up, "I broke her curse on you. You can now be a man with cold water."

Running so fast he left a dust cloud in his shape and size behind, Ranma went to the yard. Ranko, who had been a part of him for some time, started a countdown, "Five... Four... Three... Two... One..." and on cue, Ranma's joyous cry echoed in the entire home, bouncing off the walls and making Naruto plug his ears.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" everyone followed, Naruto pulling Ranko with a hand on her shoulder and a fox rod at her back. Finding Ranma, they expected everything, to see him jump up and down the pond before floating face up was among their expectations.

"I take it you're happy." Naruto said, placing Ranko on the pond, "Here's your troublemaking spirit."

"I have a name, don't I?" she asked sarcastically.

"Ranma, meet Ranko. You know him, don't you?" the blond retorted, his fox rod morphing into an orb.

"So, this girl... horned bat girl was possessing me?" Ranma asked, examining her, "I always thought I was a good-looking woman because I was handsome."

"Flattery, I like it, why don't we-" Ranko started, but Naruto bopped her, hard, "Damn you!" tiny tears appeared on the corner of her eyes as she glared at her captor.

"Keep it in your panties, lady." He growled before turning to Ranma, "Get in bed with her, and she'd mummify you. I ain't kidding. So, what do you want to do with her?"

"Why ask? Because she was in me?" Ranma took a thoughtful pose, arms crossed and face looking at the sky, "What can you do with her, then?"

"Seal her forever in some artifact." He said more as a warning to her, "She just needs to give me the excuse."

"Bastard..." she growled, trying to squirm free to no avail.

"But, I can use a seal to make her someone's servant." He said with a surprisingly softer tone, "No using her for anything dirty, though. I mean it." Fury flashed in his eyes when he turned to say those words at the pigtailed boy, anger that surprised Ranko at how genuine it sounded.

"Why care? You know what my kind does." She started.

Akane was also intrigued, "She could drain someone's chi and life force, right...? Unless... the seal prevents her from doing that to her master?" she went wide-eyed at the kitsune. He didn't reply, but she felt like a side of him had been revealed, "Is it because she's...like you?"

Naruto snickered, "If she were, she'd have been a challenge. No, I just have that soft spot as a kitsune. Ranko-chan said so herself, I'm a perfect lover."

"Dirty." She smirked, only to get bopped again, "Damn you!"

"Anyhow, choice is yours, Girly Hair." Naruto turned to the boy.

Genma jumped up, "Say yes, Ranma! Imagine, our own servant! And a pretty girl to boot! Why, with the right connections and those looks similar to yours, she could pass as my daughter! If we married her to some rich guy, we'd be set for life!"

Five fox rods later, and the man was nailed to a wall, "Anyone else has any bright ideas or are you gonna let Girly Hair decide?" an angry Naruto asked.

"Can I make a deal first?" Ranko asked.

Ranma raised both eyebrows, but nodded, "Alright, let's hear it."

"Since I was beaten by this fox and he shows his soft side a lot..." she smirked at him, to which he glared, "I'd like to be his servant."

Naruto chortled, "Didn't you want to kill my ass before?" she smirked at the moon.

"Oh, I will ask for a chance to fight you, you are strong. Proud is what I am, though, so being your servant would be better than serving a human."

"You know, why not?" Ranma asked, shrugging, "I wouldn't know what to do with a spirit that twisted, and you two seem to be on somewhat good terms."

"Fair enough." Naruto replied, "I'll need some frog eyes."

"I fear this will welcome bigger messes." Akane mumbled while shuddering.

"Or money with the right motivations." Nabiki whispered, then noted something, "Although, now I have to ask. Naruto, did you ever change out of your uniform?"

"No, I like these duds quite a lot." he replied slightly confused.

Ranko answered, "Human clothing tends to stink after constant use. It's not like ours, which we materialize on a whim if you humans have to know."

"Huh... Interesting." The kitsune commented.

The fox's reply made everyone stare at him dully, Ranko sighing, "I'm bound to an idiot."

She was promptly bopped.

XXXXXX

Next day, Naruto had finished dressing in a clean set of clothes, with an orange Hawaiian shirt which had yellow tropical flowers printed on it.

"Did you do as I asked?" he asked Ranko who waited for him at the doorway.

Clad in Nabiki's spare clothing – in the broker's attempt to get on the spirits' good side – she looked better than the brunette. Black shorts strained against her ample, peach-shaped behind, and a red top barely contained her breasts, showing a good amount of cleavage. For underwear she had to use Kasumi's, the eldest Tendo girl being the closest in sizes to her when it came to womanly attributes.

"I did return the fool's chi, he'll be as good as new." She grumbled, hands on her hips.

"Good. Help Kasumi-chan make lunch and any chore she may need your aid with." He said seriously.

But said long-haired brunette smiled softly, "I do not mind the help, but I am at ease doing the chores myself. Worry not, Ranko-san, you won't lose too much time."

"And no sucking anything out of anyone either in reality or dreams." Akane said as sternly as she could.

Ranko smiled, inching closer, "Why? Did you want me to yourself?"

The youngest Tendo blushed furiously while Naruto pressed a finger on Ranko's forehead, "Don't even think about it."

Groaning, the succubus stepped back, "Fine... Tsk, from stealing the life and inner power of powerful warriors to a housekeeper... What did I do wrong?"

"Pissing me off." Naruto replied casually and left.

The redhead gave him a wry grin, "Are you sure you don't want to use your servant better?"

"First of all, I'm not idiotic enough to fall for that." He replied with a glare, a finger up which was followed by another, "Secondly, you are not using your powers unless I say so and it helps with my mission. Otherwise, stay put, help clean this place, and keep it secured if any spirit comes by."

Pouting, the succubus turned her head, "Fine, master." She muttered the last word sarcastically.

"Yeesh, she really hates your guts." Ranma said.

"Better that way, though." Naruto replied, "Keep your guard up, though. She could try to play with you. Don't even trust your dreams."

"Oh yeah, succubus." Ranma replied, "Still, you said she was strong enough to fight you. Now I'm interested in fighting her."

"One thing at a time." Naruto groaned, rubbing his forehead, "This morning was too much of a pain already."

"How so?" Akane asked innocently, looking at him.

Naruto looked away, "None of your business."

"How rude." She huffed but followed him as they went to school.

Keeping the truth to himself, the kitsune suppressed a memory from his awakening. He had lazily opened his eyes in his room's futon and immediately noticed a tent under his covers. Gripping them and pulling them apart he found a bizarre sight. It was Akane, pulling down his pants and smiling slyly as she grabbed the hem of his underwear. A sultry expression spread on her face as she was revealed to be naked.

As she wagged her shapely bubble butt, the dark-haired girl whispered, "Is it a good morning already?"

Angry, Naruto put his hands in a simple seal, clasping them with both index and middle fingers upwards, "Kai!" Clouds of smoke appeared as Ranko replaced Akane, equally naked and revealing herself to be a natural redhead with the carpets matching the curtains.

Weakly grinning at him didn't help his ire, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" she yelped as he pulled her ear, twisting it, "I-I'm sorry, dammit! I just thought you'd like it!"

He snapped, "If you want sustenance, get it from human food instead of out of my urethra!"

Wincing as he twisted harder, she cried and kept explaining, "Sorry, sorry, sorry! It's just can't help it! Human food helps, but you smell delicious!"

He winced hearing that, "Ugh, I needn't hear that." Then he stared at her, "On another note, why did you use that girl?"

"I used my powers to sense what you'd like." She said and reverted to the nude Akane, getting the kitsune to flinch and blush, getting the succubus to smile, "I thought you would enjoy some time with her since you have a crush on that girl!" there were two hands on her other ears, twisting them hard, "Ow! Dammit, that hurts!"

Naruto blushed slightly, "Whether I like cute girls or not is no reason for you to try that!" he growled, "And if I want to lay with someone, I will do so with the real deal, not a copy! Even less one obviously attempting to take my life energy!" he glared harder as she went silent, "You WERE trying to take some of my chi, weren't you?"

"Tch, smart bast- Ow! Sorry! Stop it!"

"You didn't even try to keep defending yourself!"

Back to the present, Naruto rubbed his face while Ranma stared, "Long story, I presume."

"Painfully annoying, more like it." The blond grumbled.

But just as they were passing by a street, a couple children in elementary school uniforms passed by, running to their own school. However, they didn't go far away. One of them stopped to aim a finger upwards. Following his digit, the teenagers felt their jaws drop. Nabiki, who had gone forward, was at the scene with some police officers next to a telephone pole, and the child aimed at the top.

Loosely hanging upside down was a terrifying sight. At least to Ranma. Countless cats were dangling from the power lines, not daring to go down. Shivering, the pigtailed boy dashed right behind Naruto, who didn't pay any attention due to the bizarre scene before him. Akane arched an eyebrow as policemen tried to help firemen get the felines down, but the fur balls refused to be taken away from their perch.

"Oh, hey there." Nabiki waved, "It seems we won't have school today. These cats are messing the power and telephone lines."

"Oh good, then I can recover the lost sleep from last night." Akane sighed in relief.

"Don't think so." Naruto warned her, a hand on his chin, "It's obviously not normal for cats to be this afraid of the floor."

Nodding, Nabiki commented, "And it's not just here that they're playing the-floor-is-lava. Many areas around this district are the same." She leaned on Naruto, smiling as she brought up a hand, making a circle with her index finger and thumb, "If you think it's the work of a spirit, there's no better way to track them than my information network. What say you?"

"What's the catch?" Naruto asked, stepping away from her with a hand on his hip.

Grinning, she placed both hands under her chin to seem innocent. If no one knew how she really was, they'd have bought it, "Oh, just no pranks on my person, information, and a healthy business relationship." To make her point, she extended her hand to him, "Do not worry, all I ask for is ways to make my business boom. You scratch my back, I scratch yours."

"Give me a good idea where to find whoever's behind this, and I'll possibly think about it." He replied flatly.

To her credit, Nabiki's smile didn't fall, "Oh, I assure you that my services will be worth it. Give me some time and enjoy the city."

"Not like I have much expertise in tracking spells..." he groaned, turning to Ranma and Akane, "Tell Ranko not to mess around without me."

"Wait, what are you..." Akane started, but he had already leapt out of view, "...up to?"

"The less we see of him, the safer we may be." Ranma said, and then was hit, "Then again, after last night, maybe the opposite's true too... Ugh, just great."

XXXXXX

Perched on a lamppost, Naruto observed the city of Nerima, trying to find anything out of place.

Observing a simple alley, he found the most amusing sight, "I remember this post. Now I have to turn left." And the boy who spoke turned right.

For the last couple of minutes, the blond stared at the lost boy. A lad with a sweatshirt, black slacks, black hair similar to Ranma's but lacking the braid, and a yellow bandana. On his back was a massive backpack as well as a large eastern umbrella. If not for the fact a fang popped out of his mouth, Naruto would've confused with the other martial artist.

Rubbing his chin in thought, the blond watched as the boy somehow ended on a roof after walking around a tree, "Why do I smell bacon?" Deciding it was time to introduce yourself when the lost young man popped out of the sewers, having to lift a manhole cover to do so, he spoke up, "Yo." He waved upside down, hanging with both legs hooked around a telephone pole.

"Uh, hi." The boy replied with a curt nod.

Unable to contain his grin, Naruto showed his true colors, well, almost all of them, "You look like an idiot. How does anyone get so lost?"

"It's none of your business!" the other boy replied once out of the manhole, "What do you even want?"

Naruto's expression was playful, his words not, "Find whatever's scaring cats left and right, but you looked like a proper idiot to mess with."

"Why you..." he growled, but turned around, "Forget it, I have to find the one whose existence brought me nothing but unending suffering."

That intrigued Naruto, who held his chin with a hand while still upside down, "Could it be...? Hey, Snaggle-Tooth!"

"The name's Ryoga!" said sharp-toothed boy snapped.

"Chill, I'm actually curious. Are you cursed?" his bluntness would've confused anyone else.

Ryoga was furious, but not at him, "How could my life be anything but twisted by fate to bring me nothing but misery? Yes, my life has been nothing but a curse placed by the whims of destiny. Day after day I have to look at myself and accept that. And there's no-"

"Sorry, can you cut to the part where I can be interested?" Naruto groaned, looking bored and tired.

"Uh, ahem..." the lost boy blushed slightly, "Sorry, I tend to get carried away. Anyway, yes, I would say I've been cursed. There's no other explanation."

"Life stories aside, I may have the thing." Naruto flipped down, landing on a crouched pose, "Looks to me like you're a regular idiot, but...I cannot think of any other reason." He kept holding his chin, and held back a sigh, "It's going to be a pain, but I may be able to deal with it."

"Are you pulling my leg?" Ryoga asked, eyes narrowed.

"You smell of pig for a reason, and it may be what's causing trouble around." He replied, sitting cross-legged as he reached into his jacket.

Ryoga gasped, "Y-You can smell my curse?"

"Yeah, it's kinda hard for me not to." The blond replied and licked his lips, "Got me in a mood for miso and pork ramen."

"I'm not food!" the snaggle-toothed boy snapped.

"Don't worry, it's not like I'd eat humans." The blond answered, mildly annoyed, "Only spirits who do that try to achieve power the cheap way. Buncha barbaric idiots." He pulled out a scroll, which he opened as he motioned for Ryoga to sit before him, "Frankly, I'm surprised the idiots haven't realized it doesn't work. Even eating human souls doesn't give any kind of boost. I think they just like the taste."

"Alright, I understood that I have no idea what part of the world you're from." Ryoga said firmly and politely with a nod.

Smirking rather evilly, the fox boy turned to him, "Would you like to know?"

"I'm good here." Ryoga stiffly said with both arms raised defensively. "Anyway, if you can help me, I'd be more than indebted to you."

"Better be, because I smell a nasty spirit on you." The blond said, holding his chin before taking another sniff, "Ugh, whatever it was before possessing you reeks of greed and gluttony."

"Then, please, aid me so I can finally put behind me the misery that has haunted my life and shattered my soul!" the bandana boy grabbed his hand, pleading.

"Let go." Naruto grumbled before poking the boy's forehead with his index and middle fingers, "And don't do anything stupid unless I tell you to."

"Don't you mean I shouldn't do anything foolish at all?" the fanged boy asked with an eyebrow higher than the other.

"I mean it, just trust me." the kitsune replied and stared at him right in the eye, "Grit your teeth."

"W-What? Are you gonna try to hurt me?" the yellow clad boy asked in shock.

"Do you want to lift your curse or not?" the blond asked irritated, arms crossed.

"F-Fine." Ryoga did as told and closed his eyes, immediately getting sucker-punched by Naruto!

"Ow, dammit, guy's jaw is as tough as rocks..." he groaned, shaking his hand to get some numbness out.

"Y-You actually tricked me!" Ryoga yelled with an accusatory finger, shaking with rage. "So, you're just a scammer! Trying to steal from me after following me around and getting info on my curse!"

"Why would I even do that!?" the blond growled, "I need you to be asleep to make this work, so I had to make you kiss the dirt fast!"

"So you could take all my belongings!" the sharp-toothed boy snapped back, letting his very heavy backpack hit the floor with a loud thud.

As he grabbed his umbrella, Naruto grumbled, "Fine then, I just have to knock you out regardless and make this work."

Due to the kitsune's upbringing, he'd rather do things the hard and annoying-as-most-people-as-possible way than the friendly one. Ryoga hefted his heavy, armored parasol on his shoulder, glaring at the blond. A split second later, Naruto was right in front of him, swinging two fox rods he merged into a staff. Opening his umbrella, the bandana boy stopped the strike by using it as a shield.

Not knowing how sturdy the seemingly simple rain item was, the whiskered boy was shocked enough for Ryoga to move in for the attack. Side-stepping the blond, he closed his umbrella, swinging the parasol like a baseball bat. To that, Naruto replied quickly by separating the fox rods, crossing them in front of his face and taking the strike. His bones didn't appreciate it as they felt the heavy vibrations.

"I see, not bad for a scammer." Ryoga said as Naruto leapt back.

"So, you're stronger than Girly Hair, Snaggle-Tooth." Naruto grinned as he held a rod forward and the other beside his head, "Sadly for you, I'm faster."

Growling, Ryoga came in swinging, but the kitsune was true to his word. Moving his arms in a blur, he smacked the umbrella to deflect its trajectory, then slapped the wrist with his other rod. It happened so quickly that the poking-toothed boy only registered the counter once he stepped back. Rushing back in, he was greeted with two quick smacks to his knees, and a kick to his chest.

"What the..." he grumbled, stepping back, "He's as fast as-"

Before he could mention who he and Naruto met in common, the blond smacked him on the side of the head with both rods. Then, he held his fox rods like they were batons and he a taiko drummer. Swinging left and right, he made Ryoga's head ring with eight strikes in less than two seconds before jumping up. Holding both rods, he smacked the boy's temples at the same time, one with each rod.

Stunned, Ryoga fell to his knees, then his back hit the ground with a dazed expression on his face, "Dammit, I'll give you this, you take hits better than Girly Hair could." He spoke from a little experience. Normally if a fighter prioritized speed they'd be skilled but keep a distance for a reason. If someone charged in and dared to tank the strikes, they could hit like a bulldozer.

However, the blond prioritized everything he could, "Y-You...won't get away with this, scammer..." Ryoga groaned while getting up on shaky arms. Due to the concussions, everything was spinning. Sending strong vibrations to his temples with each strike made it easy to disorient any opponent. It's why boxers had to deal with nausea from hooks by trying to build resistance by spinning in place fast.

Twirling a fox rod in one hand while putting away the other, the kitsune looked at the lost boy with a tired expression, "You'll forgive me after you wake up." Holding the rod like a katana above his head, he swung it down with all his might on Ryoga's head, promptly knocking him out cold. "I must say, I wish there were stronger humans like you and Girly Hair around, it'd be fun fighting you."

Carrying Ryoga on a shoulder and the boy's backpack on the other, he jumped to the nearest roof before anyone saw him.

Unware to him, the real problem wasn't the spirit cursing the fanged boy.

Ranma was calmly walking home with Akane and Nabiki in silence, observing the cats with some relief and fear, "I...I don't know if I should thank they're there or not." He whispered to himself. Happy that the cats wouldn't be near him, but he was getting skittish due to just seeing the felines.

Nabiki for her part had a hand on her chin, "I'll have to see how big the affected area is and find its center. But so far it seems to be this district."

Akane stared with a frown, "Why are you telling us this?"

Casually grinning, her sister said, "Because we're involved. These many cats is dangerous for us. No electricity means no light, heater, etc. And it's a danger to the poor animals, too."

"Poor my ass..." Ranma grumbled, "But the heater part is a pain. That thing's electric, right? I may not be cursed, but we can't have my dad as a panda 24/7."

"And..." Nabiki turned to her youngest sister, "It'd be good to have Naruto owe us. Think of it, less pranks, and perhaps a little respect."

"You just want to use him, admit it." Akane narrowed her eyes at her sibling before taking off, "Well, I'll find a way to kill time and relax without seeing that fox. Don't wait for me."

"Uh, sure." Ranma said. Looking up, he sighed, "I need to walk somewhere else...away from those furry bastards."

He whispered the last part to himself. Nabiki just went home directly to start her plans.

Meanwhile, Akane was oblivious of someone sniffing her scent, going after her. It wasn't until turning around and seeing a pack of cute dogs that she halted, a smile on her face, "Aw, hey there, little guys." A girly girl she was when not breaking training dummies, so she knelt and called for them, "Do any of you want some petting?"

They walked to her, sniffing and licking her hands, getting the girl to giggle...until being face to face with a large shadow.

As for Ranma, he halted near an alley, catching an odd glimpse out the corner of his eye. Entering the place, he stared at a cardboard box, and from it a pair of feet appeared as it was raised just high enough. The figure under it froze and dropped the box once they heard him approach. Curiosity got the best of him, and he pulled the box up, revealing a small, terrified twelve-year-old girl.

"Ah!" she gasped, then shoved him.

It wouldn't have been surprising if the force hadn't knocked him into a wall, "W-What the Hell!?"

He saw her turning around the corner, catching a brief glance of her appearance. Long brown hair, pale skin, a brown kimono with a darker sash, and sunflowers printed at the ends of the sleeves and bottom of the long robe. And, perhaps he was seeing things, but he could swear she had pearly eyes without any pupils.

"Sorry, I gotta find sis!" she exclaimed and ran off.

Grunting with a hand on his gut where she hit him, Ranma tried to get up on wobbly legs, "The hell's that kid's problem?"

Following his question, a loud yelp from the girl made him shoot back to his feet and run after her.

Needless to say, Nerima would be getting chaotic soon.

 **XXXXXX**

And that's my rap!

Before any of you says Naruto should've banged Ranko, she bluntly admitted she was trying to see if she could drain some of his life force regardless of the seal. Why? Well, to me demons work on a level akin to an animal. Females are attracted to the alphas who are capable of overpowering others. Besides, knowing who his dad is, she would stubbornly try to have a go at that chi.

Yeah, chi is this fanfic's chakra.

Anyway, you have seen that, yes, Akane and Ranma will have their own separate adventures here that will intertwine with Naruto dealing with Ryoga's spirit. Yes, the pic is evil! Well, the spirit I created to have some fun is evil.

However, as I've said, I'll use Naruto-verse characters to make cool fights. Meaning that canon characters that were good will be antagonists. No necessarily evil, but maybe I will make them so. For example, I could have Shino do evil things with his bugs, but whether I make him do so for selfish or selfless reasons depends on my mood.

Swordslinger out!


End file.
